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There is a feeling in the air, a stirring in my gut, and a subtle voice in my ear showing me that life as I know it is on the verge of change. I can’t explain this unwavering belief that I have. There is no physical proof, just a change in the tides coming in quick. I sense it in my bones, and the anxiety that awakens me most mornings has dissipated with a calming embrace secretly holding me tight. After a long year of self-reflection, heartache, setbacks, and monumental strides forward, there is an unexplained joyful fulfillment hovering over me. I have a secret excitement building inside me, like a first-time skydiver anticipating their freefall. Is this the part in the journey of my life where my heart and mind merge into synchronicity on the eve of my desires manifesting? Something beautiful is taking place in my soul, and I feel so blessed to be “awake” during this metamorphosis.
I wish I could articulate into words the precise changes or miracles that are about to take place in my life. Maybe writing these words down will confirm what I already know to be true: A divine hand is being placed on my shoulder, leading me to a life of abundance. I’ve always been hardest on myself, turned right when I should have gone left, taken roads harder traveled, and kept myself in a state of self-loathing, only to come out questioning the meaning of life. This morning, after many years of ups and downs and methodical affirmations to blindly trick my brain into believing I had confidence, something changed. I am exhilarated with the converging of energy taking place inside of my body. A myriad of love is surrounding me with emotions like a young child at Christmas anticipating Santa’s arrival.
Right now, I am affirming that all of the years of hardship and struggle that I’ve endured were in fact life lessons to bring me to this very point in my voyage of existence. My heart is in a position to receive love in all areas of my life in full capacity. I understand that I’ve always deserved love, but I wasn’t in a sphere to accept or acknowledge it, and now I am. I’ve always looked back on the years of my life with great trepidation, with regret, and my body would react in a visceral and physical way as a result. Today is the first day of the rest of my life, I know what it feels like now to let go and trust that the best is yet to come. Today, worries feel to me as wasted energy that has finally passed from my realm of thinking. Today is not about the outcome of the happiness that I know is coming, it is about the comfort and peace in the feeling I have right now.
My desire to please everyone around me, coupled with the internal strife of wanting the happiness I crave, has been soothed with a complete surrender in the belief that I have the most beautiful life approaching me on the horizon, a life more delicious than I could have ever imagined. Today I am reveling in my own sense of love surrounding me and living in the present moment of “it’s done.” I am a firecracker of eagerness waiting to see what the Universe has planned for me, because I know it is going to be phenomenally breathtaking! For the first time in my life, I am excited to live—excited to live in my body, excited to live in my mind and soul—and appreciative of the blessings I have that are leading me to a life of complete fulfillment. I am no longer a force of resistance trying to control my outcome, I am a passenger of trust knowing that I naturally deserve complete love.