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You’re bossy and you talk too much. Does that sound familiar? I heard those phrases often as a kid, but here’s the thing: I’m not bossy. I am the boss. I’m a leader with a lot to share, and so are you.
I’m a mom, stepmom, wife, healthcare quality consultant, and author. I’ve also struggled with debilitating anxiety, a chronic illness (Lupus), and authenticity issues for the greater part of my life.
Several years ago, when I was deep in my divorcee-single-mom life, I grew tired of not living the life I dreamed of. I knew I needed to make a change. I stopped letting fear hold me back. I’ve since remarried, formed a blended family, and found success in pursuing my lifelong dream of becoming a published author. I’ve created my version of happily ever after. It didn’t happen overnight. I had to make changes to my thoughts and my actions. There were five paths to happily ever after that worked for me. I hope they work for you, because let’s face it: being you is pretty damn great.
Path 1: Reframe how you talk to yourself.
How you talk to yourself will set you up for either success or failure. Life is too short to be mean to yourself. Reframe the negative self-talk. Remember that you’re not bossy; you have leadership skills. You don’t talk too much; you’re not afraid to speak your mind. You’re not demanding; you know what you want. You’re not dramatic; you’re expressive and passionate. You’re not oppositional; you advocate for different perspectives. You’re not stubborn; you’re determined.
Path 2: Start saying no.
Give yourself the permission to say no to invitations, people, and things that rob you of your peace. Say goodbye to the toxic individuals bringing negative energy into your life. You know who they are. Pro-tip: You don’t owe anyone an explanation for how you’re living your life.
The sooner you let go of everything and everyone holding you back, the sooner you can make the pursuit of your goals and dreams a priority. Your time is your most valuable commodity. You don’t owe it to anyone. Spend your time with people who bring positivity into your life. That positive energy will propel you forward towards success.
Path 3: It’s never too late to pursue a new dream
I didn’t pursue my dream of publishing a book until I was in my late 30s. Yet here I am, a published author. You can accomplish your dreams too.
So often, we let fear get in our way. The fear of failure, and the fear of what other people might say, is what kept me from pursuing my dreams for far too long. When I finally took a leap towards pursuing my dream, I was overwhelmed by the support I found in unexpected people. I was also surprised by the lack of support I received from, you guessed it, unexpected people. It’s a true qualifier of who has your back and who doesn’t. I’m grateful for that lesson.
You may fail, but so what? At least you tried! Remember to reframe. What if you succeed? How amazing would that be? Give yourself the opportunity. We are all capable of amazing things.
Path 4: Visualize your highest self and start showing up.
Who did you want to be when you were a kid? You know, the person before the world told you who to be? Get back to that person. Start showing up for that little kid who dared to dream. Make them proud!
Start asking yourself if your daily habits are getting you closer to your goals. If they aren’t, it’s time to make some adjustments. Your daily routines should support the life you are trying to create. Visualization is a powerful tool. Picture your best self and have the courage to be that person.
Path 5: Start before you’re ready.
We all have to start somewhere. Let’s face it, if you wait until you are ready, you’ll never get started. Again, it’s that fear kicking in telling you to do one more Google search, to sleep on it, or to ask one more person for advice before getting started. Silence that voice in your head filling you with self-doubt.
Ask yourself who or what you wanted to be when you were younger. What fears are holding you back from pursuing that dream? What negative self-talk can you reframe? What habits can you start changing today to get you one step closer to fulfilling that dream? What can you start saying no to?
I’ll let you in on a little secret: You already have what it takes. Jump right in and learn as you go. Every day you’ll be one day closer to achieving your dream and living your version of happily ever after.