*Featured image contains photo by Norbert Kundrak and cottonbro studio.
He carried a dark secret, with five words that haunted him daily.
“This sentence haunts me to this day and is my biggest secret. Since I was 11, I would repeat it to myself every day whenever I made a mistake, or did something stupid,” he recalls.
A Son’s Dark Window
Writing those words is a Redditor named ‘Cyclic_Fire’ (We’ll call him ‘CF’), and he’s telling a story you — or those following the ‘r/GetMotivated’ group — won’t soon forget.
CF writes that he repeats these five words constantly until one day, he sees a chance to act on them.
With his mother out doing errands, he hurries to his window and tugs, but it won’t open. Wait what?!
You see, the words CF repeats to himself are ‘I wish I was dead.’
He says that it started ever since he was 11 when his father ‘beat me ruthlessly for asking him why he was drunk.’ It plunges him into a dark depression. He recalls ‘stumbling to bed so that I could cry as quietly as possible.’
However, he writes that, living on a high floor he takes comfort in looking out the window knowing ‘that if I ever wanted to, I could just jump head first, and it’ll all be over.’
At last, CF sees his chance to end it all. Yet for some reason, on this day, the window is locked. It’s unusual, as it’s always open. Nor is the window key anywhere to be found.
Minutes later, his mother walks through the front door, dashing his chance to leave life.
“I was broken,” writes CF, as he stayed in bed, depressed. Then, he has an epiphany that changes everything.
A Harrowing Moment for One Boy
‘She was my anchor.’
CF recalls all of the suffering his mother endured at the hands of his father, all for her children. It marks a turning point. “I knew that somehow,” he writes, “I would have to push to become someone worth all this suffering for.”
With that, he enrolls in medical school both to make something of himself — and to distract himself from the ‘dark shadow’ of depression.
Well, CF is the one who would have to be the anchor when his mother shares that she has cancer. “She told us with such strength and courage that I thought it must’ve been a mistake,” he writes.
Sad turns into scary when while he’s away at college, CF’s mother finds out that his father had been unfaithful during their entire marriage. This prompts him to turn violent, leaving her for dead.
Rushing back home, CF writes about a harrowing moment.
“I held her head, bald from the chemotherapy, close to my chest, she cried the deepest, most sorrowful cry I have ever heard in my life. It shakes me to my core even to this day, to hear such genuine suffering, especially from my mother.”
Yet incredibly, it’s this moment that spawns a turning point in this story.
A Turning Point
‘I will be her anchor.’
With that, there’s no turning back for CF as he looks at his mother.
“I lifted her chin, wiped her tears, and told her a sentence that would define my foreseeable future,” he writes, as he speaks these words.
Mom, I don’t know how, or when, but we will get through this. And when we get through this, I will make you a Queen.
CF
This is quickly put to the test as they are evicted from their home. With no money for tuition, and with four people cramped in a 1 bedroom, they’re once again on the ropes.
That’s when his mother does something selfless. A charity gives her money to make her chemotherapy easier. Instead of using it, she gives every penny to her son so he can stay in school.
Without the money, she takes the bus in the rain to the hospital and injects herself in public bathrooms, a small sacrifice for her son’s big dreams.
Redemption comes when a letter arrives out of the blue. CF’s family is eligible to get a fraction of the equity on their home. However, their father catches wind of it and attempts to get as much of the money for himself as he can.
“My mother, still bald and weak, told us she will see him in court,” CF writes. And when his father loses his temper at the judge, the family is given almost of all the money.
‘My mom had finally won.’
The Importance of Faith and Compassion
Fast forward, and CF’s family is in bloom. They moved into a house, CF is a graduate who’s happily living and his mother is cancer-free, her long curly hair back and lovelier than ever.
Redditors were predictably moved.
“This made me cry. Thank you for sharing your story, you’re a truly inspiring person,” writes one.
“Man, this was just amazing! Congratulations for all your hard work and thanks for sharing this beautiful story with us!” adds another.
CF has a final message for anyone thinking of throwing in the towel.
“Life is beautiful, even with the ups and downs. Ups can’t happen without the downs.”
You know, early into this piece, I knew that an incredible story like this doesn’t need much dressing up, just to be shared with a larger audience.
I’ll just add: Let’s all be thankful for brave mothers, faith, and compassion. The world needs all three more than ever.
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